Just when I thought we wouldn’t cross paths anymore —
— she just had to get posted to my school after her secondary school years.
The last thing I ever wanted was for us to even converse with each other. I didn’t want anything to do with her anymore. And – I hope she doesn’t either but, I don’t think she gets the message. I don’t think she understands the fact that I don’t want to mingle around her, nor do I want to even speak to her.
It’s frustrating because I don’t want to seem like an extremely petty person. But I know her so well; too well. I know that for some reason, she would still want to rekindle what we had back then.
And even if she doesn’t, she just wants us to settle down as friends.
But, I just cannot accept that.
Not after knowing that all along, she was being this selfish person inside. And not at all selfless like the girl I thought she initially was. When I broke things off with her, people thought it was my fault because I initiated so many things; the intense friendship, the long texts, the stretched nights — everything.
I didn’t mind if the rest blamed be for hurting her feelings by throwing her aside after giving her so much hope. And I admit, it was my fault for giving her hope. Because I thought that she was worth it.
That she was worth so much time and effort and oh God — she knew I was the one who put in so much effort.
I was the one who reminded her that she was worth more than the sun, the moon and all the infinite stars in the sky.
And when things went downhill, she acted so much like the victim and it pained — disgusted — me so much that someone could be so cunningly deceitful. Everyone pitied her and I’ve never felt so flabbergasted in my life.
Her playing victim was the last straw; I couldn’t take anymore of her lies anymore.
I realised that all this while, she too, was deceiving me but I was blind to it because of my sympathy towards her. As much as I think about it, I never felt true liking nor care towards her; it was all sympathy.
But too much sympathy blinded me to the point that I failed to notice that she was playing with me all along.
And I vowed then, that I will never want to forge another friendship with her. True, I can forgive her — but forgetting is an even harder fight.