Suffocation.

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I knew I didn’t belong; they didn’t have to say it for me to know. But they didn’t have to be blunt about it. Because it was already pain that I felt, and it was pain again I received as treatment.

I wasn’t—

me.

And it hurt so bad because they knew and they didn’t care nor bother to ask. The people I call ‘friends’, the people I treat with utmost respect; didn’t give me any.

Even after I left, none of them asked of me. None of them came to me to ask, why I left in such haste and at the very last moment.

It was as if—

—as if, they were expecting me to pack my bags and scram.

And I’ve never felt so humiliated all my life. But what disappointed me was the fact that no one supported nor sided with me. I thought I had at least two whom I could trust.

But no.

They betrayed me as well and the only thing that saved me—

Was self-respect.

And I realise now; after all the disgrace and contempt I faced brutally on my own, that the only things and person that can save me; were my own values.

.

.

.

And myself.

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